how did blaming the victims become fandom's latest fad?

[erilyn]

I am so appalled and disgusted by this that I can't not say something.

Whatever your position on warnings, I hope we can all agree that commenting on a frank and brutal post from a survivor to contradict her account of the abuse she suffered and to say that the survivor is trying to paint herself as more of a victim IS GOING SO FAR INTO UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOUR THAT ANY LINES THAT WERE CROSSED ARE NO LONGER VISIBLE.

(Warning: Very explicit discussion of sexual assault and the nature, anatomy, cause & effect of triggers. Is itself triggery.)

Well, aukestrel did just that to impertinence. And then deleted her comment, the fucking coward.

And I hoped cynatnite was about as low as you could get, when she decided to lecture survivors on how best to manage their PTSD (even if they don't have it), based on research she did for her fanfic, and how her characters coped in said story.

If you don't find her behaviour utterly despicable, I'd love to hear why. Because I can't comprehend anyway that it would not be.

ETA: lcsbanana has done a far more comprehensive calling out of terrible behaviour.

Comments

[charliequinn.livejournal.com]

I always though AuKestral had a high opinion of herself, now I know she's a fucking cuntfaced bitch.

[erilyn.livejournal.com]

I've seen some appalling shit over the years in fandom, but the last few days have really explored some new lows.

[quiet000001.livejournal.com]

Wow.

Just. Wow.

I mean, I've been having some issues with the whole thing over the way some people *who are the very people I've learned in the past to be more sensitive about other people FROM* have been behaving, but that takes the cake. And the biscuit. And possibly also the cookies and the ice cream.

[jocondite.livejournal.com]

I just - I don't even know how to say how low and disgusting that comment is. Invective fails me.

[shihadchick.livejournal.com]

And, wow, there's some more rage which I didn't think I could add to at this point. DDDDDDD: uggggggggggh.

Thank you for the link to LC's post, by the way, that was most helpful.

[i-naiad.livejournal.com]

I saw that earlier and it blew my mind. I've lost a lot of respect for a bunch of people in this.

And I don't tend to write stuff that needs the common warnings, but if I ever do I'll certainly be warning for it.

[erilyn.livejournal.com]

I am beyond disappointed in some people - women I've learned so much from and have looked up to.

[erilyn.livejournal.com]

I want to break things, I'm so angry.

[quiet000001.livejournal.com]

I just saw this in lcbanana's post: 6. I am saying that, having suffered trauma, the victim is elevated to a privileged rank because of that trauma - the privilege would not exist without the trauma. - another auKestrel gem.

I just don't even know where to BEGIN with that.

[erilyn.livejournal.com]

It's amazing how people can act even worse, even when you think you've hit the low point of human behaviour.

And by amazing I mean RAGE-INDUCING >:(

[shihadchick.livejournal.com]

It really, really is. Both amazing and appalling and rage-inducing. I am having to keep most of my rage in email right now because I am THISCLOSE to tipping over the line from 'furious' to 'saying things that do not help the non-rage-inducing side of this'. :/

Mostly right now I'm thinking hey, I have a dartboard in the garage! AND A PICTURE WHICH I FEEL WOULD BE APPROPRIATE ON IT. *snarly face*

[i-naiad.livejournal.com]

I was just reading that to my flatmate and we couldn't get over what a complete oxymoron it is to use trauma and privilege together that way. Not to mention rage inducing.

[erilyn.livejournal.com]

I think I may throw up.

[erilyn.livejournal.com]

I'm gonna go watch some AI stuff to try to cleanse my brain.

[jocondite.livejournal.com]

I'm angry, but I'm just so upset that anyone could treat another human being, let alone Imp, like that. This whole thing has been making me cry. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE.

[lastrega.livejournal.com]

But it's totally okay for her to get bucketloads of fannish sympathy on account of her completely inflated/made up stalking allegations. That's real victimhood, dontcha know.

[erilyn.livejournal.com]

http://www.journalfen.net/community/fandom_wank/1032898.html

and it hurts her very soul when people link to pairings she doesn't like without warnings.

[erilyn.livejournal.com]

I am so in awe of Imp, I want to grow up to be half as smart and strong as her.

[i-naiad.livejournal.com]

Good idea. Adam and Kris will clear your head. Watch Kris get all cute over singing Hey Jude.

Also, my external had a heart attack (don't ask), but I managed to rescue all but three eps of AI. So I will send what I have (all 18+ GB). You probably won't miss anything special in those eps.

[lastrega.livejournal.com]

Hypocritical twat is hypocritical.

[quiet000001.livejournal.com]

I have all of season 8 of AI, from which I could attempt to put up missing eps on megaupload or something if it would be helpful. (I do not usually share via megaupload, so it would be an adventure, but I imagine it would work out. :) )

[lydia-petze.livejournal.com]

I've been staying out of this one because - honestly, a) old wank is old and b) my visceral feeling about it all is I hate spoilers on fic like I hate them for anything else BUT I KNOW I DON'T HAVE ANY RIGHT TO BITCH ABOUT THIS AND I AM PERFECTLY OK WITH IT. Really. I can hate fic spoilers on the inside, which I can't control, and STFU about it on the outside, which I can. However, this shit has turned nasty and this is my first comment on it (this wank around, anyway).

Having said that, I've had a fairly low opinion of AuK for a very long time, ever since her holier-than-thou behaviour on the old dS lists - there are a few reasons I ended up leaving dS fandom, and her and her clique were near the top - but I was never really sure if it was just a personality issue. Hey, now at least I know I was right. Wow.

[quiet000001.livejournal.com]

And another thing!

I have PTSD. I have been in therapy for PTSD. I feel this means I probably understand one aspect of what it can be like at a more intimate level than someone who is researched it for a fic.

I STILL WOULD NOT DREAM OF TELLING PEOPLE HOW TO MANAGE THEIR PTSD. Because what is effective for any given person varies tremendously. There is no one magical right way. Even the commonly accepted most effective treatment - cognitive behavior therapy - is often most functional employed as part of a larger treatment plan that may include life changes, medication, other forms of therapy, etc.

The most I would do would be to suggest to someone "hey, my therapist mentioned this that sounds like it might work for you, maybe you could ask yours about it?" or, in the case of someone I knew who was suffering but couldn't afford therapy, something along the lines of "this is a technique my therapist taught me as a coping mechanism for when I start feeling really panicky, maybe it will be helpful."

[erilyn.livejournal.com]

you are awesome, thank you so much!!!

I hope you didn't lose much other stuff, let me know if there's anything you lost that I can send you.

[i-naiad.livejournal.com]

You rock. Thanks for being willing to wrangle with Megaupload. I'll post a comment here when I burn the episodes and can remember which 3 I lost.