Is fear of organising an actual phobia?

[erilyn]

In many ways, I really don't like organising things. I know I can be an officious, annoying, bossy so-and-so, but this isn't the main reason I've been shying away from it. It's the responsibility. Lately, I've really not wanted to be responsible for someone else(s) having a good time. I'm more likely to do things with few people than a lot, cause the less people there are interacting, the less things can go wrong. But then I'm sad, cause I don't see my friends as often as I'd like. I want someone else to be the organiser, and the need to avoid organising grows exponentially as the numbers grow. That way, if/when things aren't perfect, I don't feel guilty for those who've come along to something I've organised. Cause, I do. Most of you have probably seen my compulsive over-catering for stuff, which is related. So, if I have to give invitations, they're in an offhand way. Or I just say I'm doing something, and let other people involve themself. That way, it was their decision, not my invitation, and I don't have to worry about it. Well, that's the remarkably irrational and anti-social gist of it :)

I fucking hate introspection, I can second-guess my own motivations 'til the cows come home. After this, I'm gonna try and stick to my policy of not having posts like this.

Anyway, the real point of this post is Sinpozium. It's been almost 4 months since the last one, and I've been avoiding asking the important questions since then. How many people want one this year? When? At the hotel, or try and find another location which would make it more like the slumber party atmospheres of the first two? But because I thought there were various issues with last year's, I really haven't wanted to hear other peoples' reactions to it. And I haven't really wanted to think about another one. So maybe I should get off the pot, and say that I don't want to be involved in the organising for it if we have one this year? It's not like I think I'm irreplaceable :) calemiri did a lot of stuff last year, and iibnf did most of the stuff for the first two, or other people could get involved! This isn't me seeking reassurance or something. I just felt I should get the Sinpoz stuff out there.

So, thoughts on Sinpoz sought.