Hey! I liked the science start. It was DIFFERENT! which is always a good thing, and made me want to find out more. Though possibly this doesn't count as I'm a self-confessed science geek.
Isn't this first line disection interesting. I really think it should be first PARAGRAPH though. Surely people would read at least that before deciding not to read a story.
As for 'tall partner', after reading some Magnificent 7 full of 'the green eyed gambler' and 'the blue eyed gunslinger', 'tall partner' seems perectly fine.
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First Lines
Date: 2002-05-09 06:22 pm (UTC)Isn't this first line disection interesting. I really think it should be first PARAGRAPH though. Surely people would read at least that before deciding not to read a story.
As for 'tall partner', after reading some Magnificent 7 full of 'the green eyed gambler' and 'the blue eyed gunslinger', 'tall partner' seems perectly fine.